Information on Supporting Your ADHD Partner Provided by Bmindful Psychotherapists in Ottawa
We are a group of highly trained independent professionals in Ottawa, who also work(ed) at Carleton University, Algonquin College and at CHEO . If you or your partner has been diagnosed with ADHD and/or are experiencing inattention, impulsivity, hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, or difficulties with time and project management, and chronic lack of success, know that you can learn compensatory strategies and maximize your chance of a successful relationship. We encourage you to read the following general information and to book an appointment.
Psycho-education
Psycho-education will reframe how you perceive the relationship. This intervention involves expanding your knowledge of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), learning how ADHD impacts relationships and exploring effective treatment options. ADHD is often associated with executive function deficits. Executive functions are the set of higher-order processes which control our actions. A deficit in executive function impacts couples in numerous ways. For instance, your partner may experience:
- Trouble with active listening and paying attention
- Poor organizational skills
- Forgetfulness, like failing to remember plans or important conversations
- Arriving late to events and/or not going at all
- Emotional outbursts/dysregulation
- Difficulty expressing thoughts clearly
Psycho-education is essential for a successful partnership. To further enhance your knowledge of ADHD visit our resource page for couples.
Responding to your Partner
It is important to develop appropriate responses to your partner’s ADHD symptoms. Responding to your partner with empathy and encouragement as opposed to frustration will have a huge impact on the relationship. Keep in mind that individuals with ADHD often struggle with overwhelming feelings of shame and loneliness. This is because they are constantly reminded of their short-comings and failures, despite putting forth their best effort to succeed. Through the recognition of your partner’s feelings, you will develop the empathy required to approach them appropriately, which is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.
Developing a Plan
By identifying the symptoms that have a direct impact on the relationship, like tardiness and/or forgetfulness, you can develop a plan to overcome those obstacles. This plan should contain an external reminder. For instance, you may put up a calendar that contains all upcoming events to combat tardiness or write out a to do list to reduce forgetfulness. Furthermore, this plan should include proven therapeutic interventions for ADHD symptom management.
ADHD Therapies
There are a range of therapies that promote thriving relationships. Primarily, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying and altering thoughts to develop a healthier association with cognitive events. Other approaches may include the use of Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). It is important to note that even with the appropriate interventions it may take a long time before you see notable changes in your partner’s ADHD symptoms.
A combination of the above interventions can significantly improve your relationship. At Bmindful we provide CBT specifically intended for individuals with ADHD as well as individual and group-based 3rd Wave Cognitive Behavioural Therapies. For more information please visit our treatment options section.
Please, be aware that healthy nutrition, consistent exercise and adequate sleep significantly contribute to the success of ADHD interventions.
Reference:
Bertin, M. (2015). Mindful parenting for ADHD: A guide to cultivating calm, reducing stress & helping children thrive. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
Pera, G., & Robin, A. L. (2016). Adult ADHD-focused couple therapy: Clinical interventions. New York, NY: Taylor and Francis.
Book an Appointment